Let me just start by saying it’s a good thing I already had this post written and apologize for the lack of pictures… Last night was a horrible run; I haven’t been so upset in a long time. This run was against my better judgment since I was home sick (i.e. resting) yesterday. However I didn’t want to have a missed run and I also wanted to visit my brother one more time before leaving for DC so we decided to run to the National Cemetery. We got there, I said hello to my brother and snapped a few pictures – like I ALWAYS do. However, some jerk security guard came over and started yelling at me. Told me that I couldn’t be there, take pictures, etc. I told him I was visiting my brother (you could see realization wash over his face) and that I always take pictures when I come out. He said that they don’t allow runners or walkers in the cemetery.
I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve run this route and have NEVER had anyone say anything to me; he explained he was ‘just doing his job’. By the time I left the cemetery, I was so upset, hurt, embarrassed, pissed off. This is my favorite route to run. When I need to clear my head, I grab my tennis shoes and head to visit my brother. I came home and just fell apart (thankfully I have an amazing hubby) over what happened. I really felt like he was telling me I couldn’t visit my brother again. So that’s my explanation behind the lack of visual aids in this post. I really had no energy to do anything last night.
Before I get into my fears about this upcoming marathon. I figured I’d do a short recap on my fears that I had about training. (Click the link if you want to refresh your memory.) I really only had 4 major concerns when it came to training for my first 26.2 and they were:
- Training in the heat. Considering I’m still here writing posts for you, I guess that means that I didn’t die during summer training. Although there were some runs where I felt like I would just keel over if I went one step further. With a heat index that ran way into the 100s for the first 3 months of training, it was difficult but I feel so much stronger now that the heat has started to subside.
- Injury. Hallelujah – nothing to report there! Although some of my fellow blogger friends training for the MCM weren’t so fortunate. (Don’t call it a come back, call it a come better Abby Land!)
- Weight loss. This was a very real fear, too, and I’m happy to report that I actually gained weight during my training. I don’t own a scale but I can tell in my face and the way my clothes fit me.
- Lost time with Jody. This is the only fear that kind of came true. I took every opportunity possible to spend time with him but there was one mini-vacation to Houston that I missed out on. It was the weekend of my 21 mile run and I knew there was no way I could run 21 miles anywhere in the middle of Houston.
So now that I recapped my training fears. Here’s a list of my actual marathon fears:
- Getting sick. I was up Monday night sick to my stomach so I took a partial sick day from work to rest up. If you remember, I got the same sick to my stomach feeling during Thursday’s run. I’m pumping my vitamins and hydrating like crazy in hopes to nip whatever this is in the butt.
- Following up on #1 is my period. Sorry to any of my fella readers but can I get some sympathy points from you ladies? Mother Nature has a wicked sense of humor so I’ll actually be on my period during the race. Well play Mother Nature….Well played.
- The unexpected. Since this is my first marathon, I really have no idea what to expect. I know what it takes to run 21 miles at an easy pace but I have no clue what running 26.2 miles at race pace is going to do to my body. I know I’ll be sore and tired but I’m hoping that I won’t come home with any injuries.
- Race day misadventures. i.e. Making sure I get to the start of the race on time.
- Disappointment. Out of everything I’m worried about, this actually tops the list. I have no doubt that I can run the 26.2 miles that I signed up for but I worry about not being able to finish in the time I trained for. I worry about disappointing myself but more-so I worry about disappointing everyone that’s been pulling for me and encouraging me during these past few months. I know that’s just me being silly, but because this race is for my brother, I feel even more pressure to succeed. That pressure comes from no one but myself; I’m guilty of creating these preconceived ideals to try to live up to. Realistically, I’m the only person that I can disappoint.
Question: Do you place unreasonable expectations on yourself?